I always had anxiety that people could see my bulge. But I feel whole, and while I have issues with my body like most women — sometimes I wish my waist were skinnier or my hips were wider — they're nowhere near as bad as they used to be. And the ones I saw in porn were … pretty bad. The second day, I wobbled around the hospital for about 10 minutes total. I resented my vagina a little bit. I had to dilate four times a day, 30 minutes each, two hours apart, so I didn't leave the house most days. I normally feel older because of everything I've had to go through, but it was one of the first times in a long time that I felt like I was 20 and the other girls were mentoring me. One of my close friends doesn't make enough to afford the surgery.
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