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You might also want to talk to him about how his current approach is affecting you. Here are five crucial steps you can take:. For women, it can often be the reverse — they need to feel the physiological signs of arousal before they feel turned on. I highly recommend taking the time to think about what sex means to you , to your boyfriend, and in your relationship. We give more weight to other things, like looks, money, life ambitions, and shared values. What sort of feedback could you give to your boyfriend about better ways to initiate? Can you envision this sexual dynamic in the long-term? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a licensed sex psychotherapist based in San Francisco, to help us out with the specifics.

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